Another Day, Another Dose

During the initial part of my radiation series, I began to put some normalcy back into my life. I drove a car again, visited the local library, and had lunch at our local Cafe Citti.  Viola and I visited the nearby Quarry Hill Botanical Garden. Walking around forty acres of rare and endangered Asian plants felt great, even if it did wear me out. We sat by some Tibetan prayer flags looking out at our valley and feeling grateful at being alive.

Now, after two weeks of radiation, I am beginning to feel more fatigue.  There is a sunburned feeling on my left upper body that includes both on the skin and deep in the tissues.  The effects of radiation are cumulative and what I am feeling is to be expected.  My radiologist wants me to wait at least two to three weeks after my last dose before returning to work.  Another month of feeling tired, sore, and basically lousy. So far, I am lucky that frequent applications of Aquaphor, a vaseline-like skin lotion, have keptmy skin in pretty good shape- just a blush of color.

This weekend our daughter, Zoe, visited with granddaughter, Teagan.  Now that's a way to cheer up a tired guy.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot...

I have begun radiation therapy.  "Fire Away!" as Pat Benatar sang.

Radiation therapy kills cancer cells and stops them from spreading using high doses of radiation.  My chemotherapy eliminated the tumor, but there may still be some remaining cancer cells.  The radiation will destroy any remaining cancer cells and reduce the chances of the lymphoma returning.

The radiation is a very precise procedure. A body cast was made for my head and left upper body.  I lay in the cast to position my body correctly each time and to help me remain still.  My treatment area includes both the site of the tumor as well as the lymph node chain above it.  In the photo you see a red outline done with a permanent marker (my tatoos are so small they are barely visible).  Because my cancer was Stage 1, only this one area receives the radiation dose.

The treatment itself only takes about 20 seconds to the front of my body. 

The machine then rotates 180 degrees and I receive the same dosage to the back my body. Most of the treatment time is spent carefully aligning the radiation beam. In the photo you can see red light beams from the lasers used to make the precise alignment. I will receive radiation five days a week for four weeks.

Side effects of radiation vary with the area treated and vary from individual to another.  In my case, I was told to expect fatigue, hair loss, skin changes similar to a sun burn, and some irritation on the left side of my throat.

So far, radiation is not as bad as chemotherapy.  The treatment area feels a little swollen after therapy and feels like mild sunburn.  I am experiencing fatigue, but able to get out in the yard and enjoy Spring in Kenwood.  The radiation effects tend to become more prominent after a couple weeks.  Keep those positive thoughts coming my way for mild side effects and a quick recovery.

Thank you for letting me, be myself, Again!

I want to thank everyone for helping me along my journey so far.  As Sly and the Family Stone sang, "Thank you, for lettin' me, be myself, again!"  

Your cards, emails, phone calls, flowers, casseroles, pies, cakes, cookies, CDs, books, prayers, chants, and positive vibes have kept me going through tough times.  It seemed that every time I would start to feel depressed, someone would make contact and cheer me up.  I feel very humbled by the many, many acts of love and caring.  Knowing you are surrounded by love is more comforting than I can adequately describe.

Most deserving of my appreciation is Viola.  She is the who held me tight and stayed strong in those scary weeks last January when we awaited the diagnosis of the mysterious lump.  She's kept fresh flowers in our home, helped me bathe and get dressed, covered me with blankets and propped me up with pillows. She has fed me so well that I gained a couple pounds instead of losing weight, both surprising and pleasing the oncology staff.  It is hard to imagine getting through the past couple months without her.

V and I look forward to seeing all our friends and family again.  Happy together, like that day pictured below, celebrating our tenth anniversary last fall-- travelling by train from London to Paris and returning to Monet's garden where were married.

Not that too!

I received some disturbing information at my radiation education session.  I was prepared to hear about the side effects, such as burning of the skin and fatigue.  I learned that I will get some scarring in my lungs and possibly in my throat.  But nothing prepared me for the news that I would lose my chest hair.  "Not that too!", I cried.

There is only so much a man can take and I so I began googling chest hair loss.  Much to my relief, there are solutions for this most embarassing of problems. 

Yes, you probably recognize it, an actual Austin Power's chest hair piece for only $19.95.

An even simpler solution is a shirt I can wear on those hot days of summer when I want a natural look.

Should my deepest fear be realized and my chest hair fails to grow back, there are the Japanese chest hair implant clinics.

My google search even lead me to a mystery that my new specialized knowledge solved.  I know there is no mystery in the article below, it is simply one of the side effects of chest radiation.

It's Getting Better All the Time!

Good news today at the oncology center! My doctor cannot feel any evidence of the tumor.  He will not order a diagnostic scan now since any remaining cancer cells should be eliminated by the radiation treatments.  My lymphocytes are back to normal and I can discontinue the support medications I was taking three times daily.  I can go out in public shaking hands and kissing babies.  I can eat popcorn now without the risk of mouth sores, but it will be hard to enjoy until butter tastes like butter again.

One of the best things about today--I got the PICC line removed! I couldn't look as they pulled the twenty inch catheter out through my biceps muscle.  It is such a relief not worrying about lifting my arm too high or snagging the tubes dangling out of my arm.  If this sounds too graphic, be grateful I haven't posted pictures!

And there was more good news about my arm with the blood clot. It is no longer painful and the doctor will reduce my intake of anti-coagulants from six months to three months.  I also get to reduce my visits to the lab for blood draws from once a week to twice per month.  I asked the doctor if I would be able to do one arm push-ups when the treatment is over.  He said "Sure".  I said that's great because I never could before.

I Can See Clearly Now

The last chemo infusion was nine days ago and the drugs are slowly wearing off. Like the planet in springtime, I am coming alive again-- more energy, more mental focus, more taste sensations...I am starting to feel more like me.  It is truly as if a haze were lifting and everything is becoming clear.  I'm as happy as an onion flower bursting from its sheath.

Today I tended to the grape vines, tying up new canes and making a few more pruning cuts on the old vines.  The photo shows me learning about grapes from the 95 year old master gardener and my father-in-law, Glen Smith.

I had a CT scan this week and found out it was only for measuring purposes and not to diagnose the cancer.   I was very surprised when the technician said she was going to tatoo me.  I thought she was kidding, but no, I got three permanent dots tatooed on my body.  These will serve as reference points to align the radiation beams.  And I can now proudly proclaim in any bar, " Yeah, I got three tats!" (Apologies to cousin Denton Toddhunter, renowned tatoo artist.)

Monday morning it will be lab tests and a visit with the oncology doctor.  He will most likely order a diagnostic scan to search for a hopefully non-existent tumor. 

Lunch today with two great friends from Sacramento, Anita and Larry Fein, made my life seem almost normal.  We sat outdoors in beautiful weather eating simple Italian food at our local restaurant, Cafe Citti.