The Perfect Lesson

My phlebitis pain in the right arm was feeling better two days ago and I picked up my guitar for a little relaxation. Beginning a study of the guitar later in life has been a challenging pleasure. It seems odd that all that frustration with finger dexterity could bring relaxation, but it works. The most fun I have with the guitar is playing for the young grandkids who are mesmerized by its sounds.

What seemed like a reasonable idea turned out to be a mistake. Upon awakening the next morning, my pain had returned in the arm with a vengence. Back to doubling down on Vicodin. It was raining yesterday and that made it feel okay to lounge around doing next to nothing.

Of course, doing next to nothing has become my modus operandi. It is strange to take several months out of one's life resigned to doing nothing. Even after previous arm and knee surgeries, I was increasing activities after a week or two. Now my life is somewhat a prolonged Buddhist meditation. A lot of sitting and breathing with a floating mind.

This is a huge event in my life; one that comes with months free to observe and experience it. It is many things: a lethal disease without modern treatment; science saving my life; the initial pre-diagnosis fears of my mortality; struggles with body ravaging treatments; a hope for a complete cure. In a few months I fully expect to be moving on with life cancer free. I know I am learning a lot from this experience, much of which will only become clear as time passes.