A Swirl of Chemicals

After two days of heavy injections and infusions, I feel fatigued and somewhat disoriented. Two days ago, I received the weekly large dose of medications, yesterday I was infused with three additional bags, and today I will receive a shot to boost my white cells back to healthy levels.

The latest protocol, the "Stanford 5" for Hodgkin's, shortens the duration of treatment to minimize long-term side effects. During this compressed treatment, the drugs are delivered in more intense dosages.

As Viola drove me home, I began to feel the effects of the drugs. My teeth started to hurt and my tongue and mouth burned. I hit the bed immediately when we arrived home. My nerves give me an awarness of my entire body with indescribably jangled feelings. My sleep is disrupted by a frequent need to urinate. I also awakened a half dozen times drenched in sweat from the heavy steroids delivered with the cancer drugs. In spite of five nausea medications, I am feeling wretched.

The red syringe, Doxirubicon, is injected rather than dripped into my veins because it is so toxic. If it the needle where to hit the wall of my vein, or

 even if a drip struck my skin, there were be serious tissue damage with the risk of infection. It will disperse in my circulation where most cells will resist the toxic effects. Growing cells, especially the cancer, will not survive the toxic effects. Of course, this leads to the common side-effects of hair loss, mouth and digestive tract problems, and general fatigue.

This all sounds so glum, but I remain positive in spite of my worn-down body. I optimistically estimate the size of my tumor mass to be about the size of a large grape now.